Pay attention to these red flags to save yourself from heartache

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I have always said that it takes two people to make or break a marriage. I have helped break two, marriages that is, and even more relationships I imagine.

It turns out that all relationships, outside of the fairy-tales we grew up on, take work. They also require both individuals to lean in a little, to bend, to listen, to open up, and to truly partner up.

Though there isn’t a manual or guide-book per se, for couples to follow, couples therapists have identified patterns in their work with clients, which either enliven or kill relationships.

Below are 5 behaviors…

Solo Travel & Freedom

Quenching my desire to feel alive

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Did you go to New Zealand by yourself? I can’t even drive to the airport alone without major anxiety! That was me, in my forties, until two years ago.

I moved to New York from Israel when I was eight years old. This was the first time I was on an airplane and the beginning of my love affair with travel. The big buildings, the mélange of languages, the smell of roasted chestnuts; it was easy to fall in love with NYC.

Shortly thereafter my family started taking road trips throughout the U.S.; small cities, big cities, waffles with ice…

A 20 of 2020 writing tour

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I feel like the only person who didn’t start baking this year.

If your newsfeeds looked anything like mine in 2020, every soul across the globe seems to have started baking from sourdough to cookies to every variety imaginable and beyond of challah; sesame, cinnamon, chocolate, rainbow-colored, you name it! With restaurants at limited capacity or closed and people at home with way too much time on their hands, ovens have gotten their spotlight in 2020.

I, however, channeled my creative energy outside the kitchen and onto a keyboard; bringing my insides out and giving my words wings.

Writing became…

It’s about more than sex and money; you have to talk to each other too

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You meet her. You feel all the feels and all the butterflies. You decide she’s the one, put a ring on her finger, and live happily ever after. The End.

And then you wake up to your cluttered home with a heap of unpaid bills, a princess in sweatpants that you only see in passing between kids and work, and resentment and power struggles that replaced the butterflies years ago. Good morning, have a great day.

It turns out that marriage is hard work and that happily ever after is just make-believe. When pretend-play is over and you’re in the…

Haiku series

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The more the better
I’d say on people and crowds
But that was before.

Before the world changed
I thrived in togetherness
Now I thrive alone.

I’m different now
Navigating this new me
Between old and new.

Who am I now? I keep asking myself as I try to reintegrate into the world post-vaccination. But the world is different too and together we must find our rhythm again.

I thought that once vaccinated I would simply return to life as I knew it, but the reality is much different for me as I’ve changed, and like a toddler stepping into…

Break your routine — Newsletter #14

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Break your routine

I think that most of us would agree that routines are generally good and positive, right? New parents are encouraged to create and adhere to routines for their babies and toddlers; they help children and adults alike know what to expect next and they help us feel safe. Routines can help us stay on task, reach our goals, and stay focused.

But all too often we can become slaves to our own routines, moving through them on automatic as our lives become boring and our growth becomes stagnant.

Sometimes we need to shake things up a little and break free…

Galit Birk, PhD

Psychology, human potential, parent coaching, possibility, vulnerability, authenticity, connection, being known, giving my words wings! Perfectly imperfect.

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